The One with the Visitors

We've had a few uninvited visitors this week--reptilian visitors. No, we haven't had any Florida alligators in our house, just some neighborhood lizards. They really give me the heeby-jeebies, but, as a rule, we don't kill them. Lizards eat the bugs, and that makes them our friends. Also, killing a lizard wouldn't be the same as killing a bug because lizards are more like real animals than, say, spiders and roaches are. And let's face it--I wouldn't know how to clean a squished lizard off my floor anyway.

The first incident was the other night when the little lady was about to have her bath. I was holding her, and Keith was getting her water started. I spotted the creature on our ceiling and yelled for Keith to come get it. The little lady, once she figured out what I was pointing at, was fascinated. Keith swatted it down, and it landed in our pile of clean clothes which sits on the chair in the corner. So then he was picking up each item and tossing it. Meanwhile, I was jumping around, and once we finally saw it, we both started yelping. This gave the little lady the belly laughs. She couldn't stop giggling. Once Keith had him in his hand he asked, "Do you want me to kill it?"

"No! Let's go throw him outside." So we all ran downstairs and tossed him out the front door.

"Uh oh, I think I killed him anyway. Wait, no he's running now!" He was alive! We all jumped for joy and went on with our evening, giving the little lady her bath and washing all of our clothes that the lizard came within 2 feet of.

The next incident was the other afternoon, and I was by myself in the kitchen doing dishes. A little baby lizard scurried across the sink, causing me to almost soil myself. I got my lizard-catching gear, i.e. a Tupperware bowl and a magazine, trapped him inside, and tossed him out the back door. Then I held my breath and watched...he was still alive. Hooray! Then I went back to the sink to rewash all the dishes and throw away every bottle brush, vegetable scrubber and sponge that the lizard came within 2 inches of.

Tonight's incident was like that scene on "Christmas Vacation" when the squirrel jumps out of the tree. I swear a lizard lunged at me the minute I opened the front door. I threw my purse and keys down, and dashed for the kitchen. I needed a Tupperware bowl and a magazine! Then I started moving stuff all around the living room, looking for him. Finally, I saw him on the wall next to the TV, but he was too fast. Next thing I knew he was under the TV, then behind it, then...

I have no idea where he went.